See You When Everything Idyllic
David Matecsa is a Hungarian photographer currently studying Fine Art Photography at the University of the Arts in London. With his personal project, See You When Everything Idyllic, David explores the theme of loss of identity connected to his experience during the lockdown. The work is created in black and white and consists of self-portraits and still lives. We are taken into the personal space of David’s apartment to encounter the process of redefinition and analysis of the self. The decision to encounter one’s emotions in a brave and genuine manner led to reaching deeper layers of themes in question. We discuss with David how studies affect the methodology of the photographic process.
David explains the central theme and conclusion of the project, “While I was experimenting, I perceived that the object compositions and still-life images paint the illusion of an idyll to relieve my anxiety.” Going through a darker experience, the realization reached is of the fragility of the human body and existence. The poetic and melancholic atmosphere leads us to the rebirth of a human and the creation of a new identity.
‘The first two months I spent with focused research, and I realised how important research is in terms of building self-confidence about my work.’
Hi David, how are you doing? What are some of your favorite subjects from your studies at the University of the Arts in London?
Hi Nastasia, I’m doing great. Thank you for featuring my work on the WÜL Platform. Although I study fine art photography, the course is quite experimental, which means we are encouraged to expand our photographic practice and create work in any fine art disciplines we’re interested in. I am at the very beginning of my studies. The first two months I spent with focused research, and I realised how important research is in terms of building self-confidence about my work. This is a sort of new pattern in my working process that I try to combine with my intuition because there is nothing more exciting than the subconscious mind.
‘When I realised that the lockdown would probably last for months, I knew that I would use this time to escape from reality through the medium of photography.’
Let’s discuss your project, See You When Everything Idyllic. How did it start, and what were some of the first images you made that became an integral part of this project?
The project started from the uncertain state of being caused by the coronavirus pandemic. As a person prone to anxiety, this had a huge impact on my mental health, and it was inevitable to explore this new ambivalent feeling. When I realised that the lockdown would probably last for months, I knew that I would use this time to escape from reality through the medium of photography.
I've started playing with objects in my room, and I remember that I wanted to bring them to life, referencing the lack of human connection. While I was experimenting, I perceived that the object compositions and still-life images paint the illusion of an idyll to relieve my anxiety.
‘Self-portraiture has a therapeutic presence in my work as I am constantly analysing myself; however, I keep questioning if self-portraits can manifest an objective picture to the viewer of who I am.’
Developing the theme of identity during the lockdown probably provided an opportunity to learn about your character and traits in a limited space from a different perspective. What do you make of this journey? Is it more self-realization, a therapeutic practice, or an exploration of identity?
Identifying ourselves is such a complex life-long process that I've been trying to discover through self-portraits since my teenage years. The time we got with the lockdown enabled me to focus on myself and define or reinterpret my identity. Self-portraiture has a therapeutic presence in my work as I am constantly analysing myself; however, I keep questioning if self-portraits can manifest an objective picture to the viewer of who I am.
The project has a part which is reflecting on the gender questioning process that has evolved during isolation. There are two key portraits that can be seen as a résumé of ten years of exploring my gender identity: the bride and a man facing the camera. It's been two years since the lockdown. I am looking at the portraits and gladly state that they were not just locked in a room for months but trapped forever in a timeless world.
Since the lockdown, self-portraiture as a genre has gained a new meaning for me. I no longer use it primarily to get to know myself. I rather see my character with an experimental approach. It allows me to extend my identity and explore the hidden parts of it since the sense of who we are is not ending with our perceptions of the characteristics that define us.
‘I feel like I had no other option than focusing on the inside in terms of identity and environment, highlighting the main idea that the outer world is not a safe place anymore and the human body is more fragile than ever.’
What were the main themes you wanted to put in contrast to one another while working in black and white, mostly with self-portraits and still-life images exploring your state and the environment?
It is hard to rely on my memories of what exactly happened to me in the lockdown: everything and nothing at the same time. The whole project was born in this ambivalent state when days and nights merged after a while. I remember those days I slept very chaotically, mostly during the daytime. For that reason, many of my photos were taken at night, which determined the dual visual language of the series. I feel like I had no other option than focusing on the inside in terms of identity and environment, highlighting the main idea that the outer world is not a safe place anymore and the human body is more fragile than ever.
Could you share what you are currently working on?
As I mentioned, lately, I've been doing a lot of research and diving into the theme of picturing ourselves. Identity is a subject that has been calling me since I engaged with photography. This is what I would like to investigate further, so I continue making autobiographical works while experimenting with different mediums.
