The tension between doubt and belief

Featuring Jenica Heintzelman Words by Nastasia Khmelnitski

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Jenica Heintzelman walks us through her development as an artist, from the documentary approach as an observer to the artistic one in which a photographer becomes a creator of narrative. Photography comes as a tool that enables healing trauma, asking questions, performing meaningful research, and creating communication with communities. Reflecting on her childhood and observing her nieces’ growing up

enabled Jenica to address critical questions and start a healing process. While exploring the concept of trauma, Jenica worked on her book, Down a Stream. She explains the approach to the structure of the book, “I wanted the book sequence to feel like a hypnosis journey: starting with uncertainty and dropping into a trance-state, then moving through tension and discomfort and ending with a cathartic release and feeling of lightness.” 

Jenica Heintzelman is a Guatemalan-American photographer from Orlando, Florida, currently living in New York. She received her BFA in Photography and Documentary Film from Brigham Young University in Utah, which affected her work and approach to the narrative. Her MFA in Photography is from the Hartford Art School (2020). Jenica’s book Down a Stream (2021), shortlisted for the Fiebre Dummy Award, SELF PUBLISH RIGA 2021, and the ICP/GOST First Book Award, explores the themes of trauma and healing. In this interview, we speak about her growing up in a Mormon family and the decision to leave the community. We discuss the influence of art on exploring the self and her plans for the upcoming project to research her identity further.

‘I grew up in the suburbs of Orlando, FL, and spent the majority of my childhood outside, playing in the humid, subtropical landscape. I was constantly surrounded by water: swimming pools, lakes, springs, and, of course, the beach. But I also spent a lot of time going to church and was immersed in Mormon culture and beliefs. I always felt the wild, natural landscape was in stark contrast to the conservative values I was raised with.’

My Story

Let’s start speaking about you, your most memorable experiences as a kid, and the way it influences your ongoing series Florida Grown, in which you document the lives of your nieces. How does it help to reflect on your childhood? 

I grew up in the suburbs of Orlando, FL, and spent the majority of my childhood outside, playing in the humid, subtropical landscape. I was constantly surrounded by water: swimming pools, lakes, springs, and, of course, the beach. But I also spent a lot of time going to church and was immersed in Mormon culture and beliefs. I always felt the wild, natural landscape was in stark contrast to the conservative values I was raised with. I started documenting my nieces growing up in a similar environment because I was curious to witness the progressive fade of childhood as they grew into adolescence. The portraits reflect my discomfort with some of the expectations placed on them regarding gender roles. Re-examining my own childhood through my nieces’ experience reminds me of the wonder of being a child but also of the isolation I felt as an adolescent. Working on this project has helped me let go of the resentment I had about my strict upbringing and see it from a new perspective. Over the past 10+ years, I’ve evolved as a photographer, shifting in style and format, a process that works in tandem with the girls’ own development and expression.

‘My university only offered a commercial photography program, which meant the foundation was mostly technical, and it didn’t push too much into the territory of photography as art. But then I discovered the film classes next door, and I was hooked.’

Academy and its relation to practice

You earned your BFA degree in Photography and Documentary Film from Brigham Young University and your MFA in Photography from the Hartford Art School. In what way do you think concepts learned in the University affected the themes you choose for your work and your technique? 

I didn’t plan on studying photography in college, but I decided on it after dismissing music and anthropology. My university only offered a commercial photography program, which meant the foundation was mostly technical, and it didn’t push too much into the territory of photography as art. But then I discovered the film classes next door, and I was hooked. It was the first time I watched films that were made for artistic expression. Growing up Mormon, a lot of popular media is off-limits, and my knowledge was pretty limited to a program of Disney and summer Blockbusters. I discovered a passion for personal and poetic documentary films, which influenced my early work about my family. I saw myself as a participant-observer and not a director, preferring to capture life as it unfolded. I had a very quiet, unobtrusive shooting style and believed that 'real life' was far more interesting than anything I could make up.

When I moved to NYC after graduation, I had to focus on surviving with photography as my trade. I took a long hiatus before I pursued my MFA in photography. This time around, I was really determined to experiment and learn as much as I could. Breaking preconceived ideas about how to work and expanding my knowledge of contemporary art allowed me to transform my practice. I still use some documentary skills while collecting research and conducting interviews, but I also embrace reenactments as an ideal working method. I overcame my timidness and learned how to direct people and be more intentional — instead of waiting for the right moment. I developed a clear vision for what I wanted to capture and then sought to execute it.

‘Down a Stream is an image-text book that explores healing from trauma through reenactments of mind-body interventions. I wanted the book sequence to feel like a hypnosis journey: starting with uncertainty and dropping into a trance-state, then moving through tension and discomfort and ending with a cathartic release and feeling of lightness.’

Down a Stream

Your recently published book Down a Stream combines textual and visual elements presented on different types of paper. The experience of the book is close to a cinematic one, representing characters and inviting the viewer to take a closer look at their lives. Human hands become a leitmotif of the book, suggesting the importance of help and care for the other. Could you take us through the process of building a narrative and some of the decision-making you took on organizing and presenting images in the book?  

Thank you for that thoughtful interpretation!

Down a Stream is an image-text book that explores healing from trauma through reenactments of mind-body interventions. I wanted the book sequence to feel like a hypnosis journey: starting with uncertainty and dropping into a trance-state, then moving through tension and discomfort and ending with a cathartic release and feeling of lightness. I attended many healing sessions in New York City, and I was surprised by the power of the human touch of strangers — both its calming and fearful effects. The use of hands is significant because of how they are used in different healing modalities, as well as in religious settings and artworks.

While I am interested in the nuanced visualization of healing, I wanted to include a textual element that would highlight the oscillation between safety and danger that people experience when healing from trauma. The fragmented texts are rewritten from hypnotherapy sessions and build on the surreal, disquieting tone of the images. Mysterious interiors add a sense of entrapment but also act as a place to pause after seeing a lot of faces and bodies. I tend to edit in pairs and create short sequences based on formal qualities such as color and composition. While there is a general narrative arc, I also didn’t want it to be too predictable, so I moved between moments of calm and distress. Vellum pages are interspersed throughout to conceal and reveal information, heightening the psychological toll that unresolved trauma generates.

‘I use photography as an introspective tool to ask questions about myself and to build or repair relations with others. I think sometimes it is easier to address difficult and nuanced topics through the lens of art — although it might be a sideways approach, it can still generate important conversations.’

Religion and Art

How do you think growing up in a religious environment and expectations from your family shaped your interest in the main themes you explore with your photography or the questions you raise to create a narrative?

Growing up religious contributed to my fascination with faith from a young age. In the Mormon religion, the minimum age for baptism is eight years old, and I remember not being sure about it even then. Every month, there are testimony meetings where people volunteer to go up in front of the congregation and declare how they know without a shadow of a doubt that the church is true. But I always had doubts. My parents were zealous converts, and my whole family is still very devout. I will forever be intrigued by believers, not just as it applies to religion, but to any scenario where people see things in black and white. I mainly see tones of gray. This tension between doubt and belief is an underlying theme of my work.

When I decided to leave the church in my early 20s, I had to slowly rebuild my sense of self and a sense of community. It prompted my research into the world of mind-body therapies. Going back to the idea of faith again, I was raised to believe that if you had faith, you would be healed. So when I was dealing with a lot of health issues and was presented with alternative solutions, I had a more critical stance. I didn’t take things at face value anymore. I use photography as an introspective tool to ask questions about myself and to build or repair relations with others. I think sometimes it is easier to address difficult and nuanced topics through the lens of art — although it might be a sideways approach, it can still generate important conversations.

A Sneak Peek 

Could you provide us a sneak peek into the project you’re currently working on or some of the themes in development? 

I’m in the early stages of a new image-text project that deals with my fractured identity of being half-Guatemalan and ex-Mormon. I’ve been thinking a lot about the whitewashing of religion and American assimilation, as well as the visual history of sacred symbology and mythologies. I am excited for an upcoming residency in Guatemala, where I can explore these themes and try to find a place of reconciliation between my father’s religion and my mother’s homeland.