Space Between Trauma and Memory

Featuring Hailey Heaton Words by Nastasia Khmelnitski

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Hailey Heaton is a photographer currently based in New York. With her work, Hailey raises the topic of childhood trauma, how it affects the person growing up, and the possibility of curing and letting go through photography. The act of sharing the images and the personal story becomes a part of the healing process. Hailey explains the development in her work and themes, “In the beginning, my work used to revolve around finding violence in the every day, becoming very obsessive, and even feeling it vibrate through nothing. With a lot of time and growth, my work has evolved into creating pictures about how it feels to let it all go.“ In this conversation, we speak with Hailey about the main themes that emerge through her artistic approach.

We discuss her work Phantom Limb, which revolves around the concept of memory and bringing back the recollection of childhood trauma through images. We conclude the interview by speaking about a new theme Hailey plans to raise with her new project, which is dementia and aging, which comes in parallel to the idea of getting more involved in video art.

‘Overall, my work is about how trauma impacts memory, and maybe more specifically, how to communicate childhood sexual trauma and violence in a way that doesn’t feel so obvious or triggering.’

My Story

Let’s speak about the topics which emerge in your photographic practice and videography (like the music video Small shot on a 16mm camera). What are the main themes that interest you in creating? Which questions do you strive to raise or answer with your work? 

Overall, my work is about how trauma impacts memory, and maybe more specifically, how to communicate childhood sexual trauma and violence in a way that doesn’t feel so obvious or triggering. I’m ultimately trying to find a language for the gaps and ripples in between the moment itself and the long stretches of road after it’s out of view — the heaviness in silence. In the beginning, my work used to revolve around finding violence in the every day, becoming very obsessive, and even feeling it vibrate through nothing. With a lot of time and growth, my work has evolved into creating pictures about how it feels to let it all go. 

I had a happy childhood, despite it all, which is complicated. Acceptance is a very intense process, and I’d like to think the weight of everything I feel translates at the core of the images. I never had a language as a kid for anything I’ve experienced. I still don’t, honestly. My family didn’t talk to each other about hard things. I spent a lot of time alone, so making this work has helped immensely in terms of processing it all. There’s an article by Junot Díaz about his childhood rape that very accurately depicts a lot of the weight of abuse that I think about often. I’d like to find a similar language in creating still images and open up more conversations about these types of experiences with my work.

‘I spent a lot of time alone in my backyard growing up, turning over stones to find bugs or chasing my dog down the street whenever he would get loose. Those are some of my most peaceful memories.’

Nature

You’re currently based in New York, while most, if not all, of your work has to do with landscapes outside of the city serving as background to the narratives you build. What is it that drives your attention to nature? 

I get really excited whenever I go to a new place and I see trees or plants I’ve never seen before, something about not having traveled a lot as a kid, I suppose. I spent a lot of time alone in my backyard growing up, turning over stones to find bugs or chasing my dog down the street whenever he would get loose. Those are some of my most peaceful memories, just being alone, laying in grass, catching a butterfly, watching an ant carry something back to the hill.

‘Creating the images is just one step, but sharing them and being open with my peers, creating open conversations, is what I find to be the most healing. You can’t ever expect to be close to anyone without being open.’

Phantom Limb

Phantom Limb is a body of work based on documentary images that touch on childhood trauma and the concept of memory. In what way does photography have the possibility to assist with trauma and become a healing tool? 

Diving into the project during the end of my sophomore year of college provided me with a lot of clarity in terms of who I was and what I wanted to truly make work about, but I don’t consider this work to be documentary by any means. The project is actually incredibly subjective to my own perception of my childhood.

In my experience, I was able to communicate with myself honestly about how I felt towards my past through photography, generally reacting to images in the world and trying to define their influence on me. Creating the images is just one step, but sharing them and being open with my peers, creating open conversations, is what I find to be the most healing. You can’t ever expect to be close to anyone without being open, and I’m really interested in making those intense connections by sharing my images and going through the process of making them.

COLLAGE COUTURE FOR A GOOD CAUSE

Recently you took part in the project COLLAGE COUTURE FOR A GOOD CAUSE by Red3licte. Money from this project will be donated to Hope for the Young to help young refugees in the UK. Tell about working on this shoot and the point of view you wanted to create working with Agosto.

I was approached by stylist Spencer Singer for the project, who is good friends with Agosto. Agosto is very in tune with how he presents himself and performs for the camera, and I wanted to be very natural and light with the images, so our approach was very minimal. It all kind of happened very rhythmically, which I enjoyed.

A Sneak Peek

Could you provide us a sneak peek into the project you’re currently working on or some of the themes in development? 

I’d like to examine themes of aging more, especially in terms of conditions like dementia, reverting back to a childlike state when you get older, and having someone take care of you all over again. It runs very heavily in my family, and I’d like to be more confrontational about mortality in my work and my relationship to it. 

Also, I think there are certain aspects of what I’d like to do that would translate best in motion. There’s more of an opportunity for nuance that’s limited with a still image, so I’d like to lean into that too this year, making short films and experimenting with that. I have a lot of different ideas. It's just a matter of budgeting when it comes to projects like that.