Photography as an extension of myself

Featuring Ezekiel Words by Nastasia Khmelnitski

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With their work, Ezekiel raises questions on topics of sexuality, self-identification, the external gaze, and misconceptions. Through the experience of different cultures, immigrating to the UK from the Philippines at a young age, Ezekiel learned about the essence of accepting the other and the power of sharing personal experience. Ezekiel offers people they meet and close friends a voice and an opportunity to communicate a story.

The narrative is genuine and touching, while the images welcome us to a dream-like world that comes to life through the chosen aesthetics and technique. Ezekiel shares their personal experience as it unfolds from childhood and the discovery of art to concepts developed today.

Ezekiel is a Filipino photographer and filmmaker based in London. They graduated from London College of Fashion with BA in Fashion Photography. The recently published limited edition of the book — SMUT, Volume I: Transgressions — was first initiated during the college years. Ezekiel explains, “My research led me to question whether my own gaze — the queer gaze — was able to do the same and celebrate female sexuality rather than objectify it.” With SMUT, Ezekiel embarks on the journey to research the gaze of the other. Ezekiel works to capture their subjects authentically while avoiding the possibility of getting caught in the vicious circle of objectivization. Celebrating female sexuality by capturing the lives of cam-girls and strippers, Ezekiel attempts to normalize the perception of society.

‘I really believe that my creativity as a child helped to encourage my artistic voice today — my work often has a storytelling element to it, an intention to guide my audience on a visual journey through a world that I have created.’

My Story

Hi Ezekiel, it’s really nice to meet you. Thank you for this conversation in advance. Let’s start from your early childhood moving towards your first steps in photography. What was it like growing up for you? What are some of the bright memories from your childhood?

Hi Nastasia, thank you so much for taking the time to interview me! 

In my early childhood, my family immigrated to the South of the UK from the Philippines. Travelling was a big part of that time. My parents definitely taught us the importance of experiencing different cultures and places. It’s still something that I take to this day. Growing up in the UK was an interesting experience. We didn’t have much money — as you can probably imagine, raising three kids in a foreign country was relatively difficult for my parents, but they did an incredible job. My parents worked a lot, so we learnt to be independent from a young age. I fondly remember being an immensely imaginative child and not growing up with many toys, so having to do the best I could with paper and some coloured pencils. I used to write and draw A LOT. My mum has kept every drawing and all the ‘books’ I used to make. I really believe that my creativity as a child helped to encourage my artistic voice today — my work often has a storytelling element to it, an intention to guide my audience on a visual journey through a world that I have created.

‘ I’d like to think my point of view is important, and sharing my personal story is necessary. It’s for those other immigrant brown kids trying to figure out their sexuality, gender, and everything in between — it’s for my inner child in some ways.’

The Queer Gaze

We have made giant steps as a society towards personal liberation and wider acceptance even though there's still much more to strive for. Presenting experience through an individual prism, through what is important to underline, through the hardships and challenges, allows others to fight for their freedom. How do you think your personal story of exploring your identity helps you highlight meaningful themes differently, seeing the people and the surroundings through a different perspective?

Representation is a huge and important factor for me. Growing up in the Western world meant representations of Queer Southeast Asian people were very scarce, and if there was one person in film or TV... it was usually a relatively racist or distasteful depiction. I practically had no one to look up to, even in the art or photography world. I’d like to think my point of view is important, and sharing my personal story is necessary. It’s for those other immigrant brown kids trying to figure out their sexuality, gender, and everything in between — it’s for my inner child in some ways.

‘Photography to me has always been an incredibly intimate practice due to the fact that I often work with and shoot those who are very close to me. As with any art form, it is also an extension of myself.’

The Therapeutic Side 

You are often referring to the darker side in your photography and personal experiences of coping, of feelings of sadness, of the impact of the pandemic on personal and professional spheres. It seems that through photography, you learn and assist others paying more attention to the day-to-day and the importance of relationships. In what way do you feel photography allows you to develop in those two spheres (personal and professional)? 

Photography to me has always been an incredibly intimate practice due to the fact that I often work with and shoot those who are very close to me. As with any art form, it is also an extension of myself — I’m a triple water sign… so you can probably imagine the inner turmoil I go through on a daily basis. Writing is not my strong suit either, and I have an awful memory. So my work definitely reflects my need to process the day-to-day and the emotions I often feel quite deeply. All of this accumulates to my work being really personal and honest (maybe too honest for my own good), so the lines between personal and professional are pretty blurred — I’m not sure if this is a positive or negative thing just yet, but I do believe that to have a healthy professional life, I also need to be fully aligned in my personal life.

‘I wrote my thesis on alternative pornography and how lesbian directors were creating a new wave of films that undermined the problematic tropes and representations of female sexuality found within commercial adult films.’

SMUT, Volume I: Transgressions (2022) 

The photobook is presented as a ‘fashion-documentary journey,’ an attempt to display female sexuality without objectifying it through the queer gaze. What was the process of working on the photobook and the story documented for it like? What might be the narrative for Volume II?  

SMUT came to fruition during my final year of University at London College of Fashion. I wrote my thesis on alternative pornography and how lesbian directors were creating a new wave of films that undermined the problematic tropes and representations of female sexuality found within commercial adult films. My research led me to question whether my own gaze — the queer gaze — was able to do the same and celebrate female sexuality rather than objectify it. Luckily for me, sex work is normal within my circle of friends, so the process of casting and shooting the first Volume was pretty easy and very fun! I’m not certain yet on what route I’d like to take the second volume. It will either look at an ever more transgressive/potentially grotesque side of sexuality or explore the very mundane. I haven’t decided yet, so you’ll just have to wait and see.

A Sneak Peek 

Could you provide us a sneak peek into the project you’re currently working on or some of the themes in development? 

For the past two years, I have been re-visiting work from the very beginning of my journey as a photographer when I was 16. I’ve been reprinting old images in the hopes of creating my biggest book to date, which will explore a 10-year archive of work. This is a documentary project based on my life from the ages of 16-26 and will mainly explore my point of view through the transitional period of teen-hood to ‘adult-hood’.